Patty Cake Batter

NTEU action is a sham

November 27, 2009 · 4 Comments

So basically, our lecturers and tutors aren’t getting a fair deal, so the NTEU have organised for our uni results to be withheld as a form of protest. Gee, thanks NTEU. Don’t hurt the administration who treat you like crap, hurt the students who are without blame and are likely to take your side in the debate.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I got an email from my course co-ordinator telling me I needed to apply for an exemption, so that I could get my results and graduate. I applied online, and in the “hardship” section, I told them that I needed my results to get my degree.

Sounds obvious right? Wrong. Despite reading the following statement from Emma on the NTEU website, it seems that having a graduation deadline isn’t a good enough reason. Why? I don’t know. Maybe they just changed their mind.

The exemptions have been offered for students who have due dates for graduation and applications for further study etc.

Of course, the NTEU didn’t bother contacting me to tell me that my application had been rejected. They let me sit around for two weeks thinking that my application was being processed. And why wouldn’t I think that? My course co-ordinators emailed me to tell me that sending proof of enrollment, plus letting the union know that I was due to graduate, would be sufficient.

Today, after hearing that most of my friends had received their exemptions (one of them using the justification “I need to graduate to get a job”), I sent an email. This is what transpired.

“To whom it may concern,
I am an RMIT student, due to graduate at the end of the year. I applied to the NTEU for an examption from the witheld results over a fortnight ago, but have not heard anything from the union, so filled out another application today. I would like to know what is being done about my application, as the University needs my results by next week in order to let me graduate. Please appreciate that this issue is causing me a significant amount of distress, particularly as I have endeavoured to be as organised as possible in applying for an exemption. It is imperative that I receive my results as soon as possible.

Patricia Niklas”

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“Your request for an exemption from the NTEU ban on transmission of student results did not outline issues of hardship caused by the ban. Please provide more information on the potential hardship so that the Committee can better consider your request.”

(Note: no greeting, and they don’t say who they are. So rude!)

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“Dear NTEU,

I have submitted a third request online. I thought it might be best to provide you with a copy of the description I have just submitted online:

“Please note that I have applied for an exemption twice before, but have been told that I did not provide enough evidence of hardship. Please see details below:

I require this exemption so that I can graduate in 2009. If I do not graduate, I will be unable to apply for any graduate positions/cadetships that require proof that I have obtained my degree.

Being unable to apply for graduate positions means that I will be, essentially, unemployed. Being unemployed will cause significant hardship over the next year, as it will impact on my ability to pay rent, bills, etc.

On a smaller scale, I have already paid a nonrefundable fee for my graduation ceremony, mortarboard, gown and tickets in 2009, and this fee (around $300) will be lost if I am not allowed to graduate.

Furthermore, I require a transcript of my results so that I may apply for a Golden Key Honours Society grant to go toward my involvement in the 2010 THIMUN delegation. It is a requirement of my election to the role of THIMUN Assistant Director that I attend this conference, and being unable to apply for the grant (and similar grants) will force me to pay for the conference with credit, leaving me with around $2000 debt.

In addition to this, I require my results to be released so that I may be considered for a spot in the RMIT Professional Communication Honours program. I feel that completing an honours year will increase my employability, but being denied this chance leaves me unable to capitalise on my academic success.

Finally, I feel that being unable to graduate will (and already has) caused a significant amount of mental hardship. The stress of having to apply three times to receive the results I have earned, plus the stress of having to explain to friends, family, and potential employers why I am not allowed to graduate on schedule, is at best embarrassing, and at worst totally humiliating.

If my application is rejected again, I would appreciate if I were contacted. It was very frustrating to wait for weeks with no reply from the NTEU, only to contact them today to find out I was not successful.

I am available on 9489 **** or 0400 *** ***. “

Regards,
Patricia Niklas”

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I understand that academic staff have limited ways of negotiating with universities, but I think that this industrial action has been nothing short of a clusterfuck.  Why the wildly inconsistent views on what causes a student “hardship”? If my intention to graduate isn’t a good enough reason to have my results released, then why can’t the NTEU publish a list on what real hardship is? I’m sure I’m not the only student upset at this galling lack of transparency.

And what justification for the unprofessional way of dealing with rejected applications? Shouldn’t students be allowed to know if their results won’t be processed, or are we expected to turn up on graduation night, mortarboard in hand, to find that we have to wait another year?

Poor form, NTEU. I’ve actively supported your industrial action in the past – even mentioned a previous strike on my radio show, and urged other students to get involved.  But now I see that I’m just a pawn in this political game.

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Gift Wrap Fun

November 22, 2009 · 3 Comments

It’s George Ober’s birthday in Canberra on Wednesday, but I fly there early Tuesday, so I had to rush to get his gift. I didn’t have any wrapping paper at home that wasn’t grossly inappropriate (floral, christmassy, “congratulations on your wedding”) so I got myself into a pickle. What do you wrap George Ober’s present in?

(this is him being surprised. he doesn’t know)

…. GEOOOOOOORGE NEGUS!

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I got real bored at work

November 18, 2009 · Leave a Comment

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She works hard for the money

November 14, 2009 · 1 Comment

On a busy day, my job is actually pretty interesting. I get to play around with the calendar, direct people who come into the office, and sometimes even laminate shit. Occasionally I’ll get a call from a teacher/mother/principal who has to seek special provision for a student who has fallen into a coma/tried to kill themselves/skipped the country and taken the money from their drug cartel to Barbados to avoid the authorities. It’s pretty harrowing having to hear all of their sad stories, but hey, it’s something to do. And I get a kind of satisfaction from being able to help them out, y’know, the warm healthy glow of customer service.

On a quiet day, it’s absolutely mind-numbing. I find myself travelling back and forth to the kitchenette, often dividing my afternoon cup of tea over 12 cups so that I have something to clean up. I also spend a shitload of time on the internet. So here’s some of the fun stuff I’ve found!

Amazon user reviews for a Bic ballpoint pen. So many lolz.

I purchased this biro to test out the old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword. Having challenged a black belt Kendo champion to a fight I am now down to one arm and I think the bic got stepped on – so the old saying is a load of rubbish.

UK InStyle Online. Yeah I know, blah blah shallow blah. But I could read about mascara for HOURS.

Snacks  and Shit. A collection of ridiculous rap lyrics.

jay-z
“We takin’ everything you brung.”
- Jay-Z, Dead Presidents II

Come on. It’s brang.

My bezzie Giselle writes a sick travel blog, but she only updates once in a blue moon, so I spent a lot of time at work repeatedly refreshing the page.

*                   *                     *

Whoa. Whoa. I have to stop writing this for a second so I can gaze at the hot young teacher that just walked in. This is the true perk of my job. There’s nothing I like more than a hot teacher. I’m going to go upstairs and pretend to empty the dishwasher so I can casually bump into him.

*                   *                     *

Ok, I’m done. Sometimes I download free .mp3s from the JJJ site.

And when all else fails, I play Bejewelled…

…or daydream about office romance. Unfortunately, working in an office is actually nothing like The Office.

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This guy is full of gold.

November 13, 2009 · 1 Comment

More from Max:

From: Niklas, Patricia P
Sent: Thursday, 12 November 2009 8:33 PM
To: **** Staff Coburg
Subject: RE: Car Keys Found

Hi All,

A set of car keys were found in the car park not too long ago. If your pocket feels unnaturally light, then please see me at reception to collect them.

Cheers,
Patsy

**********************************************************

From: Max
Sent: Thursday, 13 November 2009 1:44 PM
To: Niklas, Patricia P
Subject: Car Keys Found

Jesus died for sombodys sins but not mine.

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Workin’ 9 to 5

November 11, 2009 · 1 Comment

There’s this gentleman at my work with whom I am absolutely in love. His name’s Max and he’s the nicest guy alive – very friendly and chatty and always wearing psychedelic tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix t-shirts and those round little John Lennon glasses. He calls me “Patti Smith” because he always forgets my name. Anyway, even though Max is the loveliest man, he is also the vaguest person I’ve ever met and loves non-sequiturs. Here’s an email exchange between the two of us.

From: Niklas, Patricia P
Sent: Monday, 2 November 2009 12:19 PM
To: **** Staff Coburg
Subject: Women’s T-shirts Found

Hi All,

Two Women’s “Witchery” style T-shirts were found in the car park today. If they belong to you, please see me at reception.

Cheers,
Patsy

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From: Max
Sent: Monday, 2 November 2009 12:30 PM
To: Niklas, Patricia P
Subject: RE: Women’s T-shirts Found

Love patti gone to larado…..a song bob(dylan) has covered

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From: Niklas, Patricia P
Sent: Monday, 2 November 2009 12:27 PM
To: Max
Subject: RE: Women’s T-shirts Found

Speaking of covers, I heard a sick version of “Sweet Jane” by Patti Smith and Leonard Cohen the other day, and thought of you. Look it up if you haven’t heard it!

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From: Max
Sent: Monday, 2 November 2009 12:21 PM
To: Niklas, Patricia P
Subject: RE: Women’s T-shirts Found

Patsy…….all I meet are lovely people in my life.i’m blessed….i do hate people arguing though with each other.stay cool and driven and enjoy that bbq tomorrow at the races as you deserve

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Aww. Bless!

(The Witchery T-shirts didn’t belong to him, by the way)

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My ICP Project Part 1

October 22, 2009 · 3 Comments

This is why I spend all my time in the editing suites at uni. More coming soon!

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Boiz and Brodie

October 21, 2009 · 3 Comments

Brodie recently posted about The Bachelorette, and challenged herself to come up with 25 men that she would legitimately have trouble choosing between, should she have the opportunity to shack up with one. You can read the post here, it’s actually freakin’ hilarious (like the rest of Brodie’s blog, get amongst it!)

Anyway, it got me thinking about which 25 men I’d have trouble choosing from, and I realised that a good percentage of these guys aren’t actually attractive at all. I’m not sure why this is – I mean, I’d have your usual suspects like Jake Gyllenhaal and Hamish Blake – but what of all the really funny lookin’ guys that I find weirdly sexy? Why am do I love them? What’s wrong with me? Will I grow out of it?

While you ponder these questions, here’s my list of “15 GUYS I WOULD DO IF I GOT THE CHANCE (INCLUDING SOME FUNNY LOOKIN’ ONES THAT YOU WOULD NEVER DO)” … I could only come up with 15 because I am unimaginative.

strangelyattractivemen

TOP: Stephen Curry (he was cute in ‘the Castle’), Frank Woodley (lanky), Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords (those lips! the gappy teeth!) Dave Hughes (gappy teeth, nasal voice)

SECOND: Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (He’s lanky, plus he was really cool and sweet until he went all mental and wrecked his dad’s car. Would still do him, though. Sometimes you just need to make a snap decision, “would I do them?” yes, or no.  And ultimately, I would.) Jeff Goldblum (Jurassic Park), MCA aka Adam Yauch aka My Favourite Beastie Boy (I love wiggers)

THIRD: Billy From Six Feet Under (I only like this guy in this role… maybe it’s because he was a bit psycho-dangerous-sexy, maybe it’s because my memories of Six Feet Under are hazy.) Steve Buscemi (the sex scene in Ghost World) Alan Rickman (greasy hair, voice), Brian Nankervis (could get me a sick media job.)

BOTTOM: Urthboy (I love Wiggers and Redheads. Oooh yeah. Love a bit of that fanta pants/fire crotch/red knob/carrot top) Quan Yeomans (I know nobody listens to Regurgitator anymore, but, it’s the Wigger thing.) Adrien Brody (the nose… there’s this one scene in The Pianist where you can see the light shining through it.) David Tennant (er… googly eyes?)

Brodie is taking me to see Urthboy (and Horrorshow, and Polo Club) on Friday, so maybe I can pull the moves then.

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bitches aint shit

October 20, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I never knew you could do this, but the lovely Amelia created a playlist on her (awesome frequently-updated) blog, so I decided to share what I’ve been listening to over the last couple of weeks. Sadly, I can’t embed the player into WordPress (WHYYYYYYYYY?) but if you CLICK HERE you can listen.

As you can see, I’m going through a bit of a weird phase where I listen to misogynistic rap music (hence Busta Rhymes and some other artists I chose not to include for fear of ridicule)… I think it’s best just to let the thing run its course and I’ll go back to listening to poncy folk artists soon. (OR MAYBE I’LL GO CRAZY AND LISTEN EXCLUSIVELY TO FOLK RAP.) [no, seriously, check out that link, Kev is awesome.]

While I’m at it, check out this video. Listen real carefully to the lyrics (if you don’t know them already) and look at the reactions on the faces of the audience…

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Itchy

October 16, 2009 · 1 Comment

My friend told me that her housemate has scabies, and every time I think of it I get really itchy. But what if I’m itchy for some other reason and I think it’s all in my head… y’know, just scabies paranoia? I’LL NEVER KNOW.

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